Shrekposting Cuz Another 8 Hour Grind
Shrekposting Cuz Another 8 Hour Grind
Blog Article
Man, this gig really sucks. I'm so fried I could just fall asleep. All I wanna do is drink some juice and stare at the wall for eternity. But first, gotta post a few Lord Farquaad memes to cope with the struggle. Life is a real rollercoaster, man.
The corporate ladder is just a staircase to Shrek's swamp
Sure, they tell you it's all about ambition, about scaling to the top and ruling your little kingdom. They paint a picture of luxury, but let me tell you, that shiny penthouse suite with its panoramic view? It's just another lonely tower in Shrek's swamp.
You're going to long hours, power lunches that go nowhere, and a never-ending parade of backstabbing colleagues. Your aspirations? They'll get swallowed up in the mire like another unfortunate tourist who wandered into this wretched swamp.
- And don't even get me started on the dress code. You think your power attire will impress anyone down here?
- Trust me, you'll be wishing for a good pair of wellies
So next time climbing that ladder, pause and ask yourself: Is this really what I want? Or am I just bamboozled by the system, only to end up like every other lost soul in Shrek's swamp?
Subject Line: "Important Meeting" - My Being: "Like an Onion, Shrek."
You know that feeling when your manager sends out an email with/about/regarding a meeting and the subject line just screams "urgency/importance/significance"? Yeah, well, my soul is currently experiencing something akin to a cinematic onion. Layered with anxiety/dread/a healthy dose of WTF, each layer reveals/hides/uncovers another questionable/confusing/intriguing detail about the meeting's purpose.
Is it a performance review? A team-building exercise/activity/nightmare? Or, perhaps, the unveiling of a revolutionary/disastrous/slightly off-brand new company initiative? Honestly, at this point, I wouldn't be surprised full time work if it was a meeting about how to best prepare for/survive/celebrate an alien invasion.
- My body requires coffee. Like, a metric ton of coffee.
- Let me just pretend to be busy with something else.
- Will my soul ever recover?
This Spreadsheet Could Be Done Faster With Titan Power
Look, this spreadsheet is a real pain. I'm drowning in data and formulas, my brain is fried, and the deadline is looming like a hungry goblin. It could really use some serious muscle to get this thing done. I'm talking about the kind of power that only an ogre. This ain't a job for your average office worker, this is heavy lifting stuff.
- How about a squad of golems?
- This spreadsheet needs an atomic bomb
- I'm demanding caffeine injections
Weekend? Nah, I'm Just Going Back to My Layer Cake of Papers
The idea of relaxation this weekend is just hilarious. My desk is currently a monument of reports, each one demanding my focus. Honestly, I'm more motivated about conquering this stack of assignments than I am about watching some Netflix. Maybe a Saturday marathon of caffeine and scanning is more my speed.
Full Time Work Makes Me Feel Like a Donkey in a Corporate Stable
I'm trapped in this soul-crushing machine. Every day feels like I'm shuffling along, just another donkey in the stable. I'm wrung dry from dragging this burden day after day. I dream about escaping.
- Maybe I'll become a farmer and actually actually get to spend time with creatures who are happy in their environment.
- {Or maybe I'll travel the world and finally live on my own terms.
- {Whatever it is, I know I can't stay here forever.{ It's just not healthy.